When I refused God as an entity

as something that I personally can relate or talk to

I was suddenly alone

abandoned almost

In a deep crisis and despair

I had called him names

and sent him to hell for sodomy

And I spoke this words with a true sense of hatred

Leaving me no way back

My words and the way I voiced them loudly

A final breakup

Today I want to believe that this was the true beginning

of my relationship with the impersonal

an initial step

to the freedom of being

being governed by a great mystery

that reveals itself not separately from life

but from within